Art Problems: Difficult Dealers, Difficult Art

(Graphic Paddy Johnson/Hyperallergic)

My gallerist alienates colleagues, friends, collectors, and critics and then complains, without filter, on social media. The gallery does not represent me, but it’s hard to leave regardless because the gallerist is a friend and seems to have abandonment issues. I feel guilty about leaving. I tried to discuss it but got dragged publicly on social media. What can I do? — Feeling alienated

Let’s start with the obvious. It’s not good for business or friendships to air personal grievances over social media. Your gallerist shouldn’t be doing that, and it’s best if you don’t continue in an abusive relationship.

But let’s also acknowledge that emotional blackmail makes it harder to leave the relationship, and the art world has few resources to deal with such situations. There’s no human resources department to report this to and no union to support you.

In a business relationship, we make decisions based on the benefits to the business. If I hire someone to help me with Photoshop and learn they can’t do the job, I find someone who can. In a personal relationship, well, maybe I put up with a shoddy job because there’s a social cost to levying criticism. I may damage my friendship. In more severe cases, self-doubt and anxiety — mental health costs — can make extracting ourselves from these situations even harder.

When we work with friends, we must balance the difference between the cost of doing business and the social costs that inevitably occur when we have opposing needs.

Your job is to lower the social cost of your departure to such an extent that you can leave the gallery with little to no damage to your reputation. The best way to achieve this is for your gallerist to believe that your departure demonstrates their success.

But does such a scenario exist?

Possibly.

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